7 - Call Me Blair: The 'Beef' Burger

Anyone that is but Fredric.

He was back to watching me. His head tilted. Always that little tilt as if he's lining me up for a portrait.

'You like him, don't you?'

'Now, whatever would make you think that? Taking another sip of my champagne.

'C'mon Jess, what do you take me for? I know that look anywhere.'

I know the look too. 'I don't know what look you think you saw but whatever it is, you may want to revisit it.' Because I was not about to admit to anything.

'I see the way the two of you look at each other. You're not in a relationship because he didn't introduce you as such but there's something there.'

'Oh yeah, you got that from what?'

'Listen, I've known James all my life and I know how he operates.'

'Well, I-I simply can't compete with tha-at.'

'Forrest Gump?'

'Uhum'

'That was pretty good.'

He'd motioned for us to go eat. I glanced to where James was. And that was, in conversation with the Fevershams. Fredric caught me on the look back and he dipped his head again towards the buffet. Most of the guests were on their feet, made their way to the food counters where The Kitchen's team had set out a spread.

I acknowledge him and in turn, invite Pandora to join us. It was in part polite and the other, dilute Fredric's attention.

Fully on my feet, Pandora stands next to me. She carries the aura of someone who has lived life well. But it is she who compliments me and my outfit. And too, my bravery for bearing legs in the winter chill. 'To be fair,' she continued, 'If my legs still looked this good, I'd be bearing them too.' The all of me wanted to take all of that credit but I chose to share the love. Tell her (albeit begrudgingly), that I am wearing tights. She pauses, looks at me. 'I know', I continue, 'like a second skin aren't they?'

Fredric tilts his head, leans back, sizes me up and down again before locking eyes. The kind where Blackstreet would have crooned 'Ooh Baby...' to Foxy Brown. Because the only thing that man didn't do was lick those lips of his.

'You have no shame?' I say to him.

With his fingers, he scrolls up some invisible checklist, turns to me, shakes his head.

'No. I've never seen it in Meermin, Mallorca or Edward Green.

While he's managed to disarm me once again, Pandora simply chuckles. 'Oh darling, he's always been like this you're going to have to get use to it,' and excuses herself for the vegan counter. Another guest joins us, well Fredric. Both express their longing for some good old English fish and chips. Because they don't do it the right way in Florida or in LA. Of course, nothing says international man of mystery like cod and mushy peas. I decline joining them for something from the grill. Except Fredric knows better than I do. Insists that it is fish and chips that I want. Need. When I hold my ground, it leaves his acquaintance looking between the two of us. I give them my wiggly wave of the fingers and leave them there.

'Now don't you go talking to any strange men.' He says at my back.

Rich coming from a stranger himself.

'You know that only leaves James, right.' I walk back and say to him. He scans the Grill station and I shake my head and laugh at him in mock disbelief.

Passing on the entrées. I go straight to the grilling station. But in choosing my burger, it is Fredric who's registering in my thoughts. Prime tension on a plate, that one, served with a dash of ego… and somehow, still on my mind. I look over to the fish station.

'Jess.'

I turn. 'Ooh, hi.'

'What are you getting?'

'Just a burger.'

'Are you gonn try it with the sweet mustard.'

'You love that mustard, don't you?'

'It's preetty good.'

'Wait... Hang on.' I make a point of checking his left, right and back of him. 'Just you?'

'Yep, just me.'

'How long have you got?' Checking behind him one more time. 'Had I known your old flame, Charlotte would have been all over you like this, I'd not bothered. I can see he's amused and instead of answering ushers us towards the other end of The Grill.

'How is my old friend Fredric? Looking after you? Or talking your ears off about LA and fast cars?'

'So now you want to talk about Fredric?'

'Far from.'

I laugh out and stick a burger on a plate. 'He's been talking about you.' I fork another burger, point it in his direction. He nods and I plate it,

'Me? Lots of love there, I know.'

'Hmm. Tell me.' I stop with the forking about and turn to him. 'What is it between the two of you? I can't help but think something is a little off-kilter there.' Returning to plate salad and fries on both of ours and await his answer.

'He-ey.'

I look up though I didn't need to. Fredric with his fish and chips to go, rocks up next to James. 'Thought I might find you here.' He says to James. Whatever James' reply is, I don't know as I choose to walk to the end of the counter which had cleared.

'If it isn't all of my favourite people tonight?' Well now that came from Charlotte. Though she stood next to me with a fine dining arrangement of salad leaves on her plate, her compliment was towards the two men at the other end.

Burger with grilled meat and thick-cut fries. The Kitchen by James Martin

I gathered my togetherness because what had I agreed to this evening? Had James and I already left for the pool and sauna, he'd have missed her call and I'd have James all to myself. Instead, I have James, 'Prime tension with a side of Ego' and now, servings of unexpected old flames.

Maybe indeed this beautifully grilled burger is exactly what I need. Something to mop up the excesses of the evening.

'How are you, Charlotte?' Adding a dipping pot of tomato chutney to my plate. Though I really should have gone for the sweet mustard. Except when she doesn't answer, I glance up.

She's still there, eyes on me. Or, rather, on the burger, on the dipping pot. 'You disapprove, I know, I should have gone with the sweet mustard.'

A smile is there for me to crack but she doesn't play ball, so I shut it down and pick up the sweet mustard.

'I guess you didn't know.' She moves closer.

'Ohh, yes.'

'James and I aren't as over as you think.'

I stop, dipping pot halfway to my plate, '...Wait, does he know that?'

I look up from my condiments and contemplating to hold a genuine conversation with Ms Feversham but she's no longer standing there.

---

If you've enjoyed this episode and would love to read from the beginning, start here. Or Subscribe here, if you'd like to read as soon as they are published.